somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
