3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Randomize
