next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
