I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize