hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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