I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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