I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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