listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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