Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
