What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
