She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Let's paint friendship bongs
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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