Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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