I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize