I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
