There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
