If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize