Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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