I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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