last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
