Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
