dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
