I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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