I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
