I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
