adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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