I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize