i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
