She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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