I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I wish you could order shots online.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
