he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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