Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
