flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
