Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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