i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
