Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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