That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
