Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
