the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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