Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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