I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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