I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Found your dick twin last night
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Randomize
