Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
