He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
How does one acquire holy water?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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