Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
