I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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