This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
