whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
3pm strippers are depressing
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
