About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You smell like stripper and shame
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
