He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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