I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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