He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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