Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
