WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he puts the penis in happiness.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
