Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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