No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
