Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
