So drunk its hurt
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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