I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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