Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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