Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
