Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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